


outside with the cuties

by rhodeytony



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: Double Dating, F/F, First Meetings, Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute, The One Where Victoria Isn’t A Power Hungry Nazi, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, not a drabble but a drabble, ok sorry I can’t tag, side Victoria/Gaby bcos I love lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 16:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16936302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhodeytony/pseuds/rhodeytony
Summary: Napoleon has been moping over his ex for too long! Gaby just won’t have it anymore. You know what that means... Double date time!





	outside with the cuties

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry.  
> ALL MISTAKES ARE MINE :^D  
> also, it’s 2 am as i’m publishing this and i’m half asleep but i hope yall enjoy!

“A double date? Really?” Napoleon said to his friend, Gaby. Gaby looked at Napoleon over her fashion magazine.

“Yes, Napoleon. Look, I think it would be good for you to get out! Ever since you broke up with that one guy, you don’t go anywhere! Listen, Victoria’s bringing her friend slash lab partner so why don’t you come to?” Gaby was right and Napoleon hated that.

A couple of months ago, Napoleon was dating this guy (who will remain nameless because Napoleon hates him) and ever since, he hasn’t been the same. He won’t go out or flirt or talk to new people— his ex and him had bought a cat together and now all Napoleon does is stay inside with the damn thing and watch television. 

“Fine! How should I dress? Is it casual or what?” He ran his hand through his hair and immediately felt gross. His hair was greasy and wiry, like he hasn’t showered in weeks even though the last time he showered was just a couple of days ago. Maybe he really did need to go out. 

“Casual. We’re just going to some burger place, no one cares how you dress” Gaby dismissed. Napoleon got up and trudged to his room and looked in his closet. Everything he owned was casual basically, so he was in luck. After a quick shower and teeth brushing, Napoleon was dressed and ready.

“Yay! Let’s go, we’re gonna all meet at Vicky’s and then we’re leaving!” Gaby was already out the door before Napoleon, who was putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys. He said good bye to his cat and locked the door, already dreading the night.

They walked the short distance to Gaby’s girlfriend’s, Victoria Vinciguerra. Victoria was tall, elegant, and beautiful— she ran for their university’s track team and was damn good at it. 

Gaby knocked and the door immediately opened by Victoria. She leaned down and kissed Gaby before letting them in. Already, there was another blonde sitting on Victoria’s living room couch, tapping his fingers on his knee. 

“Illya! Come!” she beckoned, and the blonde stood up. He was tall, taller than Victoria, and he wore a black turtleneck with brown pants. He was handsome with blue eyes and blonde hairs and longish nose. Napoleon liked that. Maybe the night wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Gaby, Napoleon this is Illya Kuryakin. He’s new to town and our university. He’s on the track team with me” Victoria introduced. 

“Hyello” the blonde, Illya, said. He held out his hand to each of them which they shook. 

“It’s nice to meet you! I’m Gaby and this is Napoleon” Gaby motioned over to him. Napoleon smiled a little, before quickly going back to a blank face. 

“Well, now that we’ve all met, let’s get a move on!” Victoria said, shrugging on a light jacket and grabbing the keys to her car. 

When they got to the burger place, they were sat in a booth by a window, with Gaby and Victoria sitting next to one another on one side and Napoleon and Illya on the other side.

They ordered their drinks and appetizers and were looking over their menus in silence, only Gaby and Victoria talking. Couple minutes later, they ordered their meals and were sat there with one another.

Gaby and Victoria delved into their own conversation, talking about anything and nothing. They didn’t even acknowledge the boys across from them.

“So…” Napoleon said, halfway turning his partner to his seatmate. Illya raised a brow but said nothing.

“Um, what do you study?” Napoleon asked, grasping for a topic of conversation. 

“I study political science and history,” Illya answered. Napoleon nodded a little.

“I study art and literature. Humanities majors!” he said, giving a fake cheer. Illya just looked at him.

“What do you like to do in your free time?” Napoleon tried again.

“I like to play chess or read. Sometimes, I go for runs” Illya’s answers were short and curt. Napoleon stopped trying to make conversation after that.

It was a couple of minutes before Illya spoke up, unprompted.

“What’s it like at the university? In Russia, I don’t think it’s same” Illya commented and Napoleon shrugged, wondering how to describe the school he attends.

“It’s great. A lot of really cool teachers and stuff. It’s very chill here, ya know? Not a lot going on” he added. It was hard to think of things to say. “Bu yeah, mostly it’s just chill.”

Illya nodded and took a sip of his drink. “Are they.. Are they okay with gay people? Back home, they weren’t so tolerant” Illya looked a little nervous. You couldn’t tell really but Napoleon was good at reading people.

“Yeah, a lot of people are really cool with gays. I’ve never had any run ins with homophobes. If you ever do, just let me know” Napoleon never considered Illya to be gay, he just didn’t… seem like it. But now that it was said, he could see it.

“Hm. Are you gay?” Illya asked.

Napoleon nodded. “Very much so.”

Silence again. Their food came and they all dug in— very happy and very hungry. 

After about 10 minutes of just straight up eating, Gaby threw her napkin down. 

“I just- I just can’t. I’m sooo full!” she said, leaning against the back of her seat. She looked blissed out and her plate was more than 3/4ths empty. Pretty good for a girl so small.

“Me too! But I would like dessert” Victoria said and Gaby nodded. 

“I could go for some dessert. Illya?” Napoleon turned to look at him and the blonde nodded. When the waiter came back, they ordered dessert. Two large bowls of ice cream for each pair to share. 

While they waited, Gaby and Victoria went back to their conversations. Napoleon and Illya started up another conversation, Illya asking what Napoleon liked and didn’t like, his favourite colours, foods, beverages, etc. Just stuff you ask someone when you first meet them.

The dessert was brought out shortly after, the waiter bringing new spoons. Napoleon and Illya dived into their ice cream, Illya releasing a groan once the creamy substance hit his tongue.

“It is so good! Can’t remember the last time I had ice cream” he said, eating another spoonful. Napoleon hummed in agreement as he swallowed the ice cream.

They ate quickly and left quickly, leaving cash for check and tip. They all piled into Victoria’s car and she drove them to this park by her apartment building. Her and Gaby went to walk around while Napoleon and Illya sat on the bench, still a bit damp from the morning dew. 

“Tell me about your life in Russia,” Napoleon said, leaning against the back of the bench. Illya bobbed his head as he thought.

“It was… Nice. Objectively so. Good home and social life, nothing really wrong. I just wanted to get out of there and explore the world. I guess America was the best place for me.”

Napoleon listened as Illya talked about his home life, his mother and father, his older brother with his wife and kids. It sounded like he had a good life in Russia. 

“What about you? What’s your life like?” Illya asked. Napoleon sighed and leaned his head on Illya’s arm. Illya flinched a little but otherwise, didn’t move Napoleon.

“I had a single mom and was an only child. She made it work though— I was happy and we had a good house. She did everything she could to make me happy, she still. Never stops worrying” he chuckled. “Uh, my dad left when I was young. He wasn’t the greatest but whatever. My mom never let that dull her attitude. I was kind of a troublemaker kid” he said and Illya snorted.

“I could see that,” he said and Napoleon smacked his arm playfully.

“Whatever! Anyway,” he said and went on to talk about his life growing up in Manhattan, what it was all like before he moved out here to California. 

They sat at the park talking for about an hour more before Gaby and Victoria strolled up and said it was time to go. Napoleon eyes were getting droopy as he sat in the back seat with Illya. He could feel himself about to pass out.

Victoria had dropped them off at Napoleon’s house. She gave Gaby a kiss before Gaby got out of the car and made her way to the apartment building door. 

“Hey, wake up, Cowboy” Illya said, shaking Napoleon awake. 

“Huh? What? Are we here?” he said, rubbing his eyes.

“Yes, get out of car, Cowboy” Illya said, the nickname just rolling off his tongue. 

“Cowboy?” Napoleon chuckled, “it’s cute. I like it. But if you call me Cowboy I get to call you Peril!”

Illya rolled his eyes. Beautiful blue eyes. “Fine. Whatever.” He said as he pushed Napoleon out of Victoria’s car. 

“Hey!” Napoleon said, ducking his head back inside. “Wanna do this again sometime, just you and me?” he asked, he knew he had a hopeful look on his face.

Illya smiled, a very small smile. “Yes, I would like to. Here,” he said, taking a pen and a piece of Victoria’s junk mail and writing his number on it. 

“Call or text me.” Illya said. Napoleon smiled and closed the door. He tapped the hood of the car and Victoria drove off to her own place.

Napoleon was smiling as he walked towards Gaby, a pep in his step. 

“What was all that, mister?” she asked, looking at him incredulously. 

“I have a date. Napoleon Solo is moving on!” he proclaimed, digging his keys out of his pocket and unlocking the door. 

“Finally” his best friend grumbled as they walked into the apartment building and called it a night. 

As Napoleon was going to bed, he texted the number the cute blonde gave him. As he was brushing his teeth, he got a response: 

_Hey :^)_

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!! as always, i hope you enjoyed!! kudos and comments are really super appreciated!! i love them all!  
> follow me on twitter @sapphicmoron! i’m funny and cool! :D until next time!


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